ARTICLESIt should be known that what characterizes an “empathetic” is his ability to feel the other. He has an unparalleled ability to feel the needs of the people in front of him, and to know how to respond to them.
If we had to define an empathetic in a few words, that’s what we would say about him: He is someone for whom human values are extremely important. It is animated by an unparalleled will to want to please, and to want to create a world where well-being is erected in supreme value. What he hates above all else is conflict; and he works first to create harmony in the world. It is essential for him never to hurt the other. Because for him, he and the other are the same. Indeed, his ability to be touched by the other, removes any desire to strike the one who is in front of him …
The other will often even before him!
It is a person who is in general calm, and who has a great ability to listen, since the other is his priority … BUT !!! BECAUSE THERE IS ONE BUT … The empathic by his ability to feel the other tends to … .. To forget! It will often tend to run out, rather than asking a salutary “no”. Well yes … As he feels the other … He captures the needs of the other and his emotions. He wants to meet the needs of the person in front of him … so he does not know what he feels himself! As a result, he does not really know what is important for him when he is in touch with another person.
His only need is that the other be happy! But him ! Where’s he in all of this?
In fact, the empathic is often in a state of fusion, and he has trouble delineating what comes from him and what comes from the other. Being disconnected from his own emotions, he does not know very well what he feels himself; and he becomes unable to relate to his own needs. This ability to be in fusion or in the other rather than in itself makes it an ideal prey for any abuser and other perverse of any kind …
Why ? Because being centered on the person in front of him, and wishing to please him above all, all his actions will go in the direction of the happiness of the other and the way in which he will be able to please him …
The abuser captures it and feels it … and then comes to parasitize it because the other tends to sacrifice himself to make happy … Moreover, the empathic is often unable to feel his own body, it is to to tell where his limit is, since he only feels what happens in the other …! The other can then abuse at will …
The empathetic even abused has only one and only strategy: try to do everything to please him and meet the need of his abuser, rather than feel his limit! It is the responsibility of the abuser to understand this to change!
All his liberation will go through his ability to feel and set his limit!
But, it is extremely difficult for an empathic person in connection with an abuser to get out easily … Indeed, all the empathic energy is centered on the other and on how he could do to create a harmonious bond . He only thinks of what he could do to avoid bumping into the other or to make him loving, rather than going back to himself …
And of course, he ends up forgetting his own inner feelings!
Still, he should feel that everything is screaming inside! Faced with the abuse, he should be able to capture a “No! it’s too much !!! But he does not feel it !!! He continues to want to respond to what the other person wants from him! His liberation only goes through the realization that as soon as he enters into a relationship with another, he loses his ability to feel himself … There is no longer any limit between him and the other … He becomes a ideal prey!
This way of being comes often from childhood and from the bond with the mother, coupled with an absence of limit between him and her who should normally have come from the father … In fusion with her, he is incapable of feeling what comes from his own identity … He is still absorbed in the energy of the mother. The father normally should have played the role of the third party separator. He should have made her feel that “No! it is not her “… But if it was missing or missing, in the relationship the child does not know what is his own needs or that of his mother. Result: he kept this initial way of getting in touch …
He responds to the needs of the other rather than his own … And his quest for harmony, his willingness to want to please or help the other, and his desire not to hurt, make him forget that often he hurts himself … He ends up deserting his territory, his house, his feelings, his needs, his body …
Can it be the belief that to take care of oneself is to be selfish? Perhaps he has not learned what it is to love oneself?
If the empathic has immense qualities that the world needs, he has one thing to learn! To take care of his Earth so as not to be swallowed up by the waters of others … To feel his land, the empathic often needs to go a little way alone … Finally to FEEL … and when this feeling will really and finally become his, that it will be sufficiently tangible, he can finally get in touch with the other without forgetting himself !!!
Caroline Gauthier
Published by Gizmo (Profile & Related Posts)
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