Nowadays, many people feel so victimized at work, in their relationships, in their bodies, that they sometimes get sick.
Here is how psychologist Stephen Karpman illustrated the dynamics in which we find ourselves when we feel victimized.
Victim – Executioner – Savior
The victim is in a dramatic triangle. She sees herself as the hero of the drama and sees life as something that happens to her and in the face of which she is at the mercy of external forces.
This triangle helps to understand why we sometimes feel helpless.
We can spend a lot of time in this dynamic.
In the eyes of the victim, there are two categories of people: the executioners and the saviors.
The executioner may be another person but it can also be a situation like a job loss or a problem where you feel treated with injustice. It can be an event, like the death of a loved one. For some, even the temperature can be a hangman!
The savior is someone who takes charge of the situation and takes care of it for us. In the position of victim, we leave our power to someone or something other than us.
We all fall victim or feel victimized. We have no power over the actions of others or all situations.
One thing we have power over is our reaction
To stay healthy and to vibrate personally and professionally, it is crucial to take a more dynamic stance.
An American coach named David Emerald has come up with an interesting alternative. He illustrated how to move from the dramatic triangle to the empowerment triangle to take a positive turn in our lives and relationships.
This triangle is dynamic, because it invites us to take the position of creator of our life.
The creator sees himself as a being in the making and sees the difficulties and problems as challenges to overcome in order to develop his strengths, acquire new skills, forge his character and move forward in his life.
This triangle tells us that we can take control of our lives.
When we realize that we are involved in creating what happens to us, the problems become “challengers,” that is, opportunities for learning and development.
This does not mean that we are automatically able to solve everything ourselves. If necessary, we call on a coach, that is, someone who supports us during the transition to what we want to create.
The big difference between the victim mentality and the creator mentality, is not the amount of difficult situations that will be faced, is that the creator takes responsibility for his life while the victim abandons this responsibility .
In the position of victims we suffer. Yet it has predominated in humanity for millennia. Fortunately, we are lucky today to start taking the position of the creator that we are.
Nobody manages to change everything instantly. Changes are gradual. It’s worth it to get involved in the action and get help to use the obstacles as stepping stones to new ways of thinking, rather than seeing them as brakes or using them as excuses to give up. and give up.
To those of you who have the taste to start or continue the transition to the mindset of the creator, I make the gift of the first two questions that I ask my coachees:
“What does not suit you in the current situation? “
“What do you want to create instead of that? “
You have taken two important steps in answering these questions. Knowing what you want to create, you will find easier actions to make the desired change.
Engaging in this change is a personal choice and no one can impose it on you from outside because it will take you back to the position of victim.
I assure you it’s a creative wellness choice, but the decision is up to you.
It’s your life, make it beautiful!
Published by Gizmo (Profile & Related Posts)