You must become more and more conscious of the value of these moments of silence and inner recollection in which you receive a light, a grace from heaven. Much of your suffering stems precisely from the fact that you lack this consciousness.
You receive blessings but they do not last, you quickly lose hold of them, quite simply because you are unaware of the value of what you have received. You imagine that heaven will always be there to pour out its blessings and that, when you have nothing better to do, you can pause for a few minutes to receive them.
No, this is not how it works. Heaven is not at the disposal of thoughtless, heedless people.
At a given moment, in certain conditions, heaven pours out its blessings, and if you are not sufficiently conscious to receive them or do not know how to hold on to them, so much the worse for you, for you will lose them. So, be careful – and when you sense that you have received a revelation or a grace from heaven, try to hold on to it and treasure it.