How do men and women go about winning each other’s friendship and love? They know instinctively that they have to make pleasant conversation, pay compliments and give presents, and so on.

In other words, they must stroke the other person’s vanity.

This however is not the way to speak to a person’s higher nature, it is their lower nature that is being nourished and pampered by such attentions. Is it surprising that a relationship that is conceived in these conditions will continue to be plagued by misunderstandings, tension and conflict? This kind of love, this all too human love, can only express itself instinctively.

And this will continue to be the case until men and women consider and speak to each other’s higher nature, so that all that is truly noble and luminous within them can manifest.
To love someone is not to want to keep them for oneself; it is constantly to seek to give them light and strength, to help them to become more and more conscious of their divine predestination.

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov